Overheard at the terminal bar last week in the Kansas City airport-- guy asks the bartender if he can have a "mock tail" (similar to a cocktail, but with less alcohol - and by "less", I mean zero). The bartender says, "Sure. What would you like?"
The guy doesn't know. He just stands there for a minute, like he's never been asked that question before. Finally he says, "Like, a wine?"
First of all - the fact that he just called it "a wine" made my entire day.
Now the bartender looks confused. I don't blame him. "Wine?" He asks. "So... juice."
The guy shrugs. "Well, I don't know how you do it."
I should also point out that this guy is well into his twenties - more likely early thirties. He is old enough to know what "a wine" is.
My flight was boarding shortly after, so I don't know what happened next. I'm assuming he got his juice, asked the bartender to pour it into a wine glass, and then sent a Snapchat to all of his friends with the caption "Thirsty Thursday".