I am a bad blogger. Not even like a “cool and edgy” “bad blogger”… nah, I’m just bad at being a blogger. (For example, I use quotation marks when there is ZERO NEED TO USE QUOTATION MARKS. So… maybe that makes me edgy? Or just bad at third grade English.)
Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m a good blogger. I’ll glance through my content and pretend that I’m a “visitor”, a “viewer” of this amazing site. Just a regular old Internet person and – “Wow! This is great content! I’m really funny!”
I think that to myself. “I’m really funny!” This is probably why I don’t have a lot of traffic and it’s taken me three years just to reach 1,400 subscribers…. which is crazy, because I’m, like, really funny. “If more people knew about my site – my traffic would skyrocket. I might even be famous.”
Yea. Sure. It’s been on the Internet for three years and you’ve promoted it on every social media platform out there – but obviously people don’t know about it. That’s why you’re not famous yet.
There may be other reasons. When I got cocky and asked the Facebook-blogging-community-group for feedback on my TOTALLY AMAZING site… not one of them said it was funny. Or amazing. Or that they would even come back! I did not gain ONE new reader from this experiment… which, honestly, is a little disheartening, especially since I’m so funny.
Overheard at the terminal bar last week in the Kansas City airport– guy asks the bartender if he can have a “mock tail” (similar to a cocktail, but with less alcohol – and by “less”, I mean zero). The bartender says, “Sure. What would you like?”
The guy doesn’t know. He just stands there for a minute, like he’s never been asked that question before. Finally he says, “Like, a wine?”
First of all – the fact that he just called it “a wine” made my entire day.
Now the bartender looks confused. I don’t blame him. “Wine?” He asks. “So… juice.”
The guy shrugs. “Well, I don’t know how you do it.”
I should also point out that this guy is well into his twenties – more likely early thirties. He is old enough to know what “a wine” is.
My flight was boarding shortly after, so I don’t know what happened next. I’m assuming he got his juice, asked the bartender to pour it into a wine glass, and then sent a Snapchat to all of his friends with the caption “Thirsty Thursday”.
We made a pit-stop in Phoenix last year on our way from The Grand Canyon to San Francisco (which is not at all between “The Grand Canyon and San Francisco”, for those of you familiar with geography, but it was one of the places that had an airport relatively nearby – and also because, during the planning process, I said, “Ooh! We should go to Phoenix! It’s so cool! I was there a few years ago with some friends, we loved it.”)
We LOVED IT. In hindsight, I’m trying to remember why we loved it – maybe it had something to do with the fact that it was -2 degrees back home and in Phoenix we got to wear bikinis and drink margaritas all day. That might have had something to do with it.
But I managed to forget about all of that when I said “We should to go to Phoenix!”, “It’s going to be so fun!”, “They have cactuses there!”…. so we went to Phoenix. They have cactuses there.
I was inspired to write this post because I *didn’t* buy a jacket.
Back story – I have fifteen thousand jackets at home. Probably. I haven’t counted, but I know that when I open up our “coat closet” (also doubles as our laundry/shoe/vacuum/Swiffer closet) most of the coats that I see in there are mine. Maybe three of them are Kyle’s. And one of those I bought for him.
This post could have just as easily been titled “Confessions of a Shopaholic” or “How to be a Crazy Coat Lady” – but honestly, that’s a little embarrassing and – based solely on my experience today – I am clearly turning a corner outside of my consumerism mindset.
Exhibit A: I did not buy a jacket. I *almost* did. But then, I didn’t! Yay! (Isn’t this a great story so far?)
There are two kinds of bloggers out there: the kind who have goals and a media kit – and the other kind, the kind who have to Google “what is a media kit?” when someone reaches out to them for a sponsored post and — well, actually, first they have to head on over to the blogging forum and ask, “Hey guys, how do I handle a sponsored post? So-and-so is reaching out to me and I don’t know what to do”, and someone says, “send them your media kit”.
I still don’t really understand what a media kit is. But that’s okay, because it sounds a little more “professional” than what I am currently set up for.
Around the middle of October, I was playing around with this new blogger site that I found called Canva (game changer, by the way) that allows you to make graphics and banners and all of the professional-looking-images that you see the professional-looking-bloggers have.
I got really excited. I felt like I’d stumbled into “the big secret” that all of the professional bloggers already know. I found a fancy graphic site that is going to CHANGE EVERYTHING…