Wedding update: The one about the dress.

October 6, 2019 in Wedding, Wedding - 1 Comment

The day that I bought my wedding dress was not the magical, special, fairytale day that all of the other blogger-brides seem to write about. I’m not sure where they went to buy their dresses, or why I’ve always imagined little birds fluttering around to lace up their corsets, or how it always seems that every bride develops this psychic-intuitive ability that enables her to “just know” when she’s found the right dress.



If you’ve ever read a blogger-bride’s post about the magical day when she found her wedding dress – they all seem to have one thing in common…. once she put that dress on – “it was all over. She just KNEW.”



She just knew. As if a little voice whispered in her ear: “This is the dress. Yay!”



I didn’t get a little voice. I got a loud voice in my bridal consultant who kept saying things like, “You look GORGEOUS, but do you want to try this one on again? Make sure you REALLY KNOW – you’ve got to REALLY FEEL IT. This is a BIG DECISION.”



I get it. I do. A lot of girls seem to have a spiritual connection to their wedding dress – they have an emotional reaction, they cry at bridal appointments, they somehow manage to “just know” when they’ve put on the right dress, the RIGHT dress –



And yet – here I was, standing there as a bride-to-be, in a wedding dress, not doing any of that. I wasn’t crying. There was no magical “this is the dress” moment. I wasn’t being emotional – not that I’m super emotional anyway, but I wasn’t able to channel any of that psychic energy everyone else seems to get when they’re trying on wedding dresses.



“Do you want to try on another dress?” The bridal consultant asked me. She assumed I wasn’t having some sort of emotional reaction because I didn’t like the dress.



The dress was fine. I mean, I guess that’s not the kind of reaction you want when it comes to your wedding gown- “it’s fine” – but… I don’t know, what did she want me to say? “It’s great! Fantastic! I feel like a princess! Actually – you know who I feel like? I feel like Taylor Swift in the music video for ‘Love Story’ and THAT’S why I like it!”

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The bachelorette party | chicago, IL

October 4, 2019 in Wedding, Wedding - 1 Comment

“I don’t want a penis hat.” I texted Klaudia. <— Something I never thought I’d have to say, but these are the kinds of things you need to specify when your friends are planning your bachelorette party.



I don’t know if our mothers and grandmothers went out the night before their weddings wearing penis necklaces and sipped out of penis shaped straws, but – if you’ve been to a bachelorette party recently – you know that penis things are all the rage.



“What about a sash?” She texted back. “Will you wear a Bride-To-Be sash?”



Sashes, veils, anything “cutesy bride” – I’m all about it. So I responded with, “Sure!”



I didn’t have much of a hand when it came to the planning part of my bachelorette party – my friends organized everything, and I was completely fine with that. The only input I offered was, “No penis necklaces” and “don’t make me do anything weird”.

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Wedding Dress Shopping

October 1, 2019 in Wedding, Wedding - 3 Comments

I knew that it was time to start wedding dress shopping when people would ask “have you found a dress yet?”, and then seem very concerned for me when I said no.



“Well, you better get on that!” They would tell me.. They. Not just my mom, or my friends – my aunt, my dentist, the lady who does my hair – all of them made me feel like if I didn’t “get a move on it”, I was going to end up buying my dress from the prom section at Macy’s.



So, I got a move on it. I made an appointment at a bridal salon and dragged along two of my friends to watch me parade around in dresses for two hours while they cheered me on by saying things like, “I love that one!” and “You look so skinny!”



It was wonderful. For me, anyway. Probably less so for the girl who worked there as a “bridal consultant” and was assigned to help me get in and out of the dresses.



“I’m really sorry if I flash you,” I said to her, more than once. And then, both times, I flashed her. So I guess it was her lucky day.

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On Hiring A Wedding Planner.

March 23, 2019 in Wedding - No Comments

Can you handle planning your own wedding? Of course you can. Which is not to say that it will be “easy” – you’ll need excellent time management skills, a Monica-Gellar-level passion for organization, and a notebook. Kyle and I bought a notebook shortly after we got engaged that we deemed “The wedding notebook” where we were only allowed to write “wedding things”. (Five months later we have two pages scribbled with notes like “Flowers?” and “Music….. guitar? Violin. GUITAR.”)



If you have the time, and you’re “into” it – so, you’re not going to roll your eyes every time someone asks you about your ‘color scheme’ – you can plan your own wedding, no matter how busy you are, even if you have a full time job and you travel and you have a life outside of “wedding stuff”.



“But I’m REALLY busy.” I told Kyle, this is back when I was trying to convince him that we “needed” a wedding planner. “Plus we’re getting married in California – and I’m trying to plan everything from Chicago? I don’t really *know* California. I need to find someone who *knows* California. How else am I going to, like, find a florist and a minister and stuff?”



There’s also Google. But. That’s not as fancy as being able to say that you have “a wedding planner”, now is it?



So we justified our decision to do a destination wedding in California because we were going to find someone “locally” to do all of the planning. She will be the J-Lo in that movie “The Wedding Planner”. (Except she won’t sleep with my fiancé. Is that what that movie’s about? I don’t remember, it’s been awhile.) She will take all of my vendor meetings, respond to all of my emails, be in charge of set-up and tear-down of our decorations, and keep me in check the day-of so I’m not late to my own wedding.



OR maybe she won’t do any of that, and she’ll just forward emails to me from the florist that say “See below”. Because, honestly, I think that’s what a wedding planner actually does.

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FYI – Weddings Are Expensive.

March 5, 2019 in Wedding - No Comments

According to The Knot’s most recent poll – on a list of “The 25 Most Expensive Places To Get Married In The US”, Chicago ranks number three. Number THREE. In the United States. Right under Manhattan, NY and Long Island. According to their research, the average wedding in Chicago costs over $60,000.

SIXTY thousand DOLLARS. I’ve never wanted to be one of those party-pooper kind of people who feel the need mention things like reality when planning a wedding – after all, it’s the most important day of your life! You can’t put a price tag on that, now can you?

Apparently you can. And that price tag reads $60,000.

“Maybe we should just get married at city hall.” I said (which is something I never thought I’d say. Getting married at city hall, in my mind, has always been reserved for really, really old people, or those people on 90 Day Fiancé who are trying to get a visa). “I mean, we’ll still be *married*.” I pointed out, as if by paying $60,000 for a big wedding means that you are somehow more “married” than by doing it at city hall. “We just don’t have to do all of the *stuff*.”

“The stuff” is what adds up. “The stuff” includes the flowers, the music, the food, the drinks, the rental fees, the chair covers, the silverware? Did you know that a lot of places will make you pay extra for silverware? It’s not included with the food. So you can spend $12,000 on chicken and steak and expect your guests to eat it County Fair Eating Contest style unless you dish out the extra cash for some utensils. But it’s your wedding day, right? You want it be “nice”.

“We’re not getting married at city hall,” Kyle said.

“Why not? “ I asked. “Carrie Bradshaw did it!”

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Wedding Planning.

January 13, 2019 in Wedding - 2 Comments

About three months after you get engaged, something happens. The first two months are all about celebrations and “Congratulations!” and people telling you how happy they are for you. You’ve found your person. The one who’s agreed to smell your morning breath every day for the rest of your life and kiss you anyway (albeit, sometimes on the forehead. That’s okay.)

“There’s plenty of time to plan”, people will say. “There’s no rush. Just enjoy it!”

“Just enjoy it,” they say. Until the ‘newness’ wears off. Once your friends and family have already heard the story about ‘how he did it’ and ‘where he did it’ and “did you know? Were you surprised?” – the conversation gradually fades during the upcoming months into questions about dress shopping and guest counts and napkin colors.

Napkin colors. Did you know that it’s possible to have a ten minute conversation about napkin colors? I didn’t. Until it happened the other day when I was asked about “my vision” and “were these napkins going to work with that?”

I mean… they’re still napkins, right? If I spill something, these will be the things used to clean it up? Okay. Just checking.

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