Registering for a wedding is weird.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful. But also weird. It feels a bit like making out a Christmas list when you’re a kid. You can’t help but think, “We’re really asking someone to buy us an automatic vegetable peeler? Really…?” Also, “Do we need an automatic vegetable peeler…?”
Well of course we do. How else are we going to make zucchini pasta?
We don’t usually eat zucchini pasta – actually, I don’t think we’ve ever eaten zucchini pasta (because we’ve never had a vegetable peeler)- but the married version of us seems to lead a much more glamorous and put-together lifestyle. One that involves bowls and plates that match, and pots and pans that have lids that fit. And healthy pasta made from vegetables.
“Where are we going to put all of this stuff?” Kyle asked. That’s the thing about registering for a wedding when you’re living in an apartment – there’s barely enough room for the stuff you have now, where are you supposed to put a KitchenAid mixer and an extra set of “nice” dishes “for company”?
“I don’t know.” I said. “We’ll figure it out. Eventually we’re going to have a house.”
Eventually. “Eventually” in like, three years. Probably. Hopefully. Maybe. Fingers crossed.
“Do we *need* a new set of knives?” I asked. “Don’t we already have knives?”
We do. Apparently “they suck”, so we have to register for “nice” ones. (Kyle does a lot of the cooking in our house, because he’s good at it, and he’s never been crazy about my set of $16.99 multi-colored knives from IKEA… which I bought because they were multi-colored and $16.99.)
So “knives” are now on our registry -“nice” knives. Along with mixing bowls, a new coffee pot, a serving tray, a marble rolling pin, a lasagna pan — did you know they made “lasagna” pans? Not baking pans, “lasagna pans”(according to Crate & Barrel) – and two sets of dishes.
“Why do we need two sets of dishes?” Kyle asked. Obviously he hadn’t considered all of the holiday parties that we would be hosting as a married couple. “We live in an apartment,” he reminded. “What holiday parties? We don’t even have a dining table. Who do you think’s going to be coming over and using fourteen plates?”
“It’s for the house.” I told him. It was all “for the house”. The set of eight wine glasses, the wine rack, the dessert tray, the King-size sheets for the King-size bed that we don’t have but “will when we have a house”.
“Which color bath towels should we get?” He asked. As if I knew what color our future bathroom would be. White? Grey? Turquoise? (Not turquoise.)
“Uh….” Probably white, right? But what if we have a white bathroom, should we do grey towels? Or cream towels. I saw an Instagram post of a white bathroom with yellow towels – those looked nice, but what if I change my mind in two years? I’ve already changed my mind four times in the last twelve seconds.
“Jenn, they’re just towels. What do you want?”
“I don’t know.” I sighed. “What color do you think our bathroom will be?”
“Why would that matter?” Oy. Men.
“Let’s come back to that.” I said. “What else do we need?”
A coffee maker, a toaster, a blender, a food processor, can we register for a new couch?
“What about home decor?” I asked. “Can we register for home decor?”
“You can’t even decide which color towels you want in the bathroom.” Touché.
How many of you have registered for a wedding? Be honest – I’m totally overthinking this, aren’t I? Let me know your thoughts on wedding registries in the comment section!