I like to call this pose – that thing you do when someone says “look natural” and you totally DO NOT LOOK NATURAL. Fashion bloggers use all of these tips and tricks when they’re trying to model. Like “stand on the balls of your feet” and “stand with one foot in front of the other” and “know your angles”
What are my angles? I knew I should have practiced this in the mirror before we left the house.
Eventually my boyfriend, who is also my extremely patient photographer, was like “What are you doing? Just stand still so I can take your picture.”
Look, I get it. You’re supposed to look natural. I mean, they don’t say that in any of the fashion blog-y photo tips, but it makes sense to look natural as opposed to someone who looks stiff and uncomfortable. So I strive to “look natural” – but not like TOO natural, because my ACTUAL natural state is “slouched over with an occasional case of Resting Bitch Face”, so… you know. It’s really all about trying to look skinny. Right?
This concept was lost on me as a teenager. I didn’t know know how to look skinny in pictures. I was just doing what all of my friends were doing and wondering why I – being 5’9″ and 155 pounds – didn’t look like my friends who were 5’3″ and small enough to say things like “Ugh. They didn’t have a size zero, and the size two was too big!”
I’ve never been “fat” fat, but I’ve also never been thin enough to complain about swimming in a size two. When you’re sixteen and buying clothes that are literally three times larger than that of all of your friends – it can make you feel “fat” fat. In my mind, my friends looked like normal teenage girls, and I looked like the momma duck. I had these hips that made me “curvy”, and a stomach that was – I don’t know, enough to make me uncomfortable wearing a bikini.
So I tried to fit in. I mean – I didn’t try TOO hard, because it wasn’t like I started doing sit-ups or trying to cut out pizza, which would have been the healthy way – but I learned that if I stopped trying to wear “belly shirts” (yea, remember when those were a thing?) and low-rise jeans, I could LOOK thinner. MAGIC. Optical illusions. Laziness.
So here are my other tips for “tricking people into thinking you’re, like, really skinny”:
- Dark clothes.
- I know. This one isn’t exactly groundbreaking. But it works. I’ve found that wearing black skinny jeans has become my go-to. They “suck in” and feel a little more structured than leggings – but they also make you look slimmer than, say, white jeans. (AKA they make my hips look smaller).
- Mid-rise pants.
- I’m not talking Mom Jeans. I don’t do “Mom jeans” – even though, weirdly enough, I think they’re on trend right now. I’m saying, I can’t buy anything that says “low rise” because it makes my stomach poof out. Am I “fat” fat? No. But mid-rise helps to keep everything tucked in and can also give the illusion of longer legs.
- Long shirts.
- I don’t care how skinny you are – if you’re wearing a crop-top with high-waisted shorts, your hips are going to look bigger. And maybe that’s what you want! But for me personally, I struggle with trying to tone mine down – because I’ve got allll that junk in the trunk. Long shirts have helped to elongate the body and give the illusion that you’re thinner.
- This is why I LOVE Fall. Boots can make your legs look thinner! Skinny jeans and boots will balance out any hip action you’ve got going on. This is my go-to look in the Fall and Winter.
- Be careful with the tight clothes.
- Here’s the thing – you can wear tight clothes! I do it all the time. My jeans are so tight that it takes me two minutes to put them on and usually requires some sort of squat work-out in the process. Just make sure you’re buying the RIGHT tight clothes. Tight jeans – yes. But don’t wear tight jeans with a tight shirt. If you have a tight shirt, wear a cardigan over it, or make sure you’re wearing something loose fitting on the bottom (like a skirt).
- Look. They’re not just for mom’s, okay? Celebrities wear them all the time. I’ve worn them. I’ve had friends who are thinner than me who’ve worn them. They just help to smooth everything out when you’re wearing a dress. It’s not a big deal. You don’t have to be embarrassed to buy them in Macy’s like I was.
- Heels make your butt look better. A man probably invented them for this reason, but who cares. Heels make your BUTT LOOK BETTER.
- A jacket.
- Jackets hide things. Like, flabby things. I can’t explain it. I’ve literally refused to take off my jacket because it was “part of my outfit” before.
Those are my basic tips for dressing yourself thinner. Most of it isn’t groundbreaking, but it’s what has worked for me! What are some of YOUR tips to dress yourself skinny? Let’s hear it in the comment section!