Today’s post is about pencil skirts. Because sometimes you want to look “professional”, but also, still kind of hot. Mostly hot. Like a Victoria Secret model posing on the cover of Cosmopolitan to feature a story called: “How to look ‘professional’, but also, still kind of hot”.
My first pencil skirt came from an impulse buy during college after my friend asked me what I was wearing to the Big Annual Career Fair that week (because, you know, “networking opportunities”… also, free pens) and said that if I wanted to be taken ‘seriously’, I probably shouldn’t wear “jeans and, like, a nice shirt”.
(Also, the cute guy from my business class was going to be there and so far he’d only seen me in UGG boots and an 8 AM messy bun. This would give him the opportunity to see me as more than just a consistently bad hair day – “I’m also a classy, level headed chick who kind of has her life figured out after college“… more importantly, it was my excuse to wear a skirt in front of him. Like I said, networking opportunities.)
So I ran out to Target and bought my very first pencil skirt. It was a black, and pin-striped, and a size-too-small on purpose because I thought this would make me look thinner. I don’t know why. I thought that if I could fit into a teeny, tiny pencil skirt – it would, in fact, make me look teeny, tiny. Like a pencil. You know, pencil skirt = PENCIL SKINNY. Female logic.
Unfortunately I also have these things called “hips” – which wouldn’t have been as noticeable if I’d actually purchased the skirt in my size. But since the part of my brain doing the buying was like, “Skinny! Cute boy! Skinny! I want to look like a Victoria’s Secret model who works on Wall Street!“… MY pencil skirt made me more like a pen with one of those grippy things around the middle. But, like, in a good way. I think. My hips don’t lie. And neither, apparently, do too-tight pencil skirts.