The Official Holiday Home Decor Post

December 6, 2019 in Interior Style - No Comments

“We don’t need new ornaments.” Kyle replied. Even though that wasn’t my question. My question was – “What do you think of these ornaments?” No one needs a box of plastic Christmas ornaments from Hobby Lobby – especially not us, because – as Kyle has so logically pointed out – we have an entire box of Christmas ornaments at home.



But those are bright red, and glittery. And honestly, the red doesn’t go with anything in our living room. Not to be a stick in the mud when it comes to home decor – but every piece of furniture that we own is either black, white, cream or grey. We have zero red accents. We have some gold accents – but no red.



It’s not that I’m anti-color, I just think that the neutral tones make our smaller space look classy and sophisticated.



Okay, fine. So maybe I am a stick in the mud.



“Wouldn’t these look nice?” I suggested, pulling the box of bronze and cream colored ornaments off the shelf. I don’t know why I was expecting him to say – “Those look great! Wow – and they’re ON SALE? Let’s buy them!”

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That time I almost worked for a fashion company in New York.

July 1, 2018 in Lifestyle - 3 Comments

Contrary to popular belief – working in the fashion industry was never really my “dream”. People always assumed it was because A) I wanted to move to New York City, and B) I liked to go shopping.

That’s it. There was also a brief stint during my childhood when I begged my parents to let me pursue a career in modeling because the lady at the mall from the Barbizon Modeling School told me that I could. For a fee. But she thought I had a real “look”, so the $750 application fee would be totally worth it.

To this day, I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d just gone to the Barbizon Modeling School. Maybe that lady WASN’T just trying to scam me as a poor, unsuspecting eighth grader with low self-esteem, maybe I really did have “the look” – if that look was ‘glasses and frizzy hair’. Instead my parents got hung up on that measly $750 application fee. Even though I was like, “The lady said it’s TOTALLY worth it! I have THE LOOK.” And my parents were like, “uh…” and I was like “The Barbizon lady said that! And she knows what she’s talking about, SHE WORKS THERE.” 

Right. She works there. So, she said it because it’s TRUE. Not because she’s trying to scam my family out of nearly $1,000. She wouldn’t do that, she was so nice.

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WEARING A LEOPARD PRINT BRA TO A JOB INTERVIEW.

June 30, 2017 in Style - 4 Comments

I’m not big on superstition, but I once held a rabbit’s foot in my pocket while I was taking an important exam.

And by “important exam”, I mean a sixth grade science test, and by “rabbit’s foot”, I mean a picture I ripped out of magazine of Justin Timberlake. It was earlier that year when I discovered a “lucky rabbit’s foot” was legitimately supposed to be, like, you know… a rabbit’s.. FOOT … and I was like “EWWW!!! What kind of sick person carries around some dead rabbit’s chopped off foot? How does that bring them good luck?”

It doesn’t. When you think about it, the concept IS a little Jeepers Creepers, ya know? 

But a picture of Justin Timberlake during his Ramen noodle hair and N’sync days? Yes. That will TOTALLY bring you good luck! Probably. If you write the answers on it somewhere in very small print and only look at it occasionally when the teacher isn’t paying attention. Ya know, for luck.

Of course I wasn’t smart enough to do that. Which is probably why I thought I needed a “lucky charm” to get through a sixth grade level science test in the first place. As long as I had a picture of my fake boyfriend “Justin from N’sync” in my back pocket, I was sure to do well. It was magic, and luck, and the Gods and a higher power – and my crazy little eleven year old brain that legit thought some sort of voodoo could make me a really good guesser – all working together.

Ah, to be eleven and weird again. 

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Decorating our new apartment!

June 28, 2017 in Interior Style - 1 Comment

Here’s something I never thought I’d say: “We need shelf liner.”

Shelf liner used to be just one of those dumb “extra”, “Mom”-type things that somehow found it’s way into every apartment that I’ve ever lived in – cut up, and laid flat in the kitchen cabinets.

I say “somehow” like it magically appeared there. It didn’t. My mom would buy this stuff for me – because she’s a mom, and it’s kind of a “mom” thing – and say “This is to line the shelves of your kitchen cabinets before you put the dishes away.” And I would say “Oh, okay, cool” – even though I had no idea why. Does it stop your plates from sliding around? (Can plates really just “slide” around in there?) Does it stop your glasses from smelling like *shelf*? (Aka, wood). Can it keep you from getting splinters?

I don’t know. It might just be wallpaper for the kitchen cabinets. But – whatever it does – I knew that I needed it for our new apartment before I could put the dishes away. God forbid we put away our Target brand plates and funny wine glasses that say things like “I make pour decisions” into a cabinet with naked shelves.

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