The Wedding Coordinator

October 16, 2019 in Wedding, Wedding - No Comments

The Wedding Coordinator

October 16, 2019 in Wedding, Wedding - No Comments

We have a new wedding coordinator, apparently. This one’s name is Margo and she likes to call me “Babe”.

“We’ve got to get your dinner figured out, babe.”

At first I thought she’d mumbled and I’d misheard her over the phone. I was sitting at the gate of a crowded Minneapolis airport and assumed she must have said “Kay.” Like, “We’ve got to get your dinner figured out, kay?”

But then she said it again and I realized she was one of those women. The girl-friend-y kind. The “sweetie”, “honey”, “babe” kind.

“What happened to Judy?” I asked her. Judy was the third wedding coordinator, the one who replaced Kristen, who replaced Amanda, and now, I guess we have Margo who must have replaced Judy.

Pretty soon I’ll have worked with more wedding coordinators than Meghan Markle.

“Oh….” The question seemed to linger. “Judy. Yes, you were working with Judy….. uh….”

Judy must have gotten fired.

“She’s not with us anymore.” Margo said quickly, like ripping off a bandaid. Definitely fired. Well, that explains why Judy’s been incommunicado for the past week and a half, it also explains why she never responded to my email about the candles.

“So!” The bright-and-cheery Margo seemed to come back. “What’s your dinner situation, babe? Let’s plan a menu.” Let’s plan a menu? What happened to the menu that I planned with Judy?

One evening about a month ago, Kyle and I spent two hours fussing over things like “baked potatoes” or “mashed potatoes” and “what kind of chicken do we want?” It was probably the most passionate either of us have ever been about what we wanted to eat for dinner.

“We’ve gone over this with Judy,” I said. Extensively. “Kyle and I chose the Santa Lucia buffet. I think I can probably find the e-mail that I sent to Judy and forward it to-”

“Oh! Great!” She said. “That’s great! Okay, so you’re doing… the…” her voice trailed off. “What was it? Santa Lucia?”

“Yes.”

“Okaaaay….” She trailed off again. “And that’s…. hmm….” Hmmm? Why is she hmmm-ing? “Oh, okay, so you chose from the buffet menu.” She informed me, as if I didn’t already know this. Why do I get the feeling that I’ve done something wrong? “So… unfortunately….” Great. There’s an ‘unfortunately’. “So unfortunately we don’t really do buffets,” she told me. “But we can offer family style?”

Family style. So instead of having everything set up neatly on the side and kept warm with burners, we’ll throw all of the food in the middle of the table and pass it around. Like family.

“Sorry, why can’t we do the buffet?” I asked. Also, why do you have a ‘buffet menu’ if you don’t ‘do’ buffets?

“Right. Judy must have sent you the wrong menu.” Margo was saying. “You should have gotten a menu from Tiffany? She’s our catering manager. She was supposed to send you a sample menu?”

I saw Tiffany’s sample menu. They included a lot of fish-y options and things that were apparently “farm fresh”, per their titles. “Farm Fresh Greens”, “Farm Fresh Veggies”, “Farm Fresh Squid”… I didn’t even know squid were raised on farms.

“Uh, yea. I saw it.” I said, in response to the question about Tiffany’s menu. Judy’s menu included things like mozzarella sticks and chicken wings. Which is why I chose that one instead.

Great.” She said. “So take a look at that and let me know what you want.”

“Okay,” I told her, secretly cursing Judy’s mistake. Why couldn’t I just have the mozzarella sticks?

“Do you have some time now?” She asked. “Can you take a look at it now?”

“Oh. Well, not really…” I said, looking around at the other people standing by the gate as we all waited for our plane to board. “I’m at an airport right now. I had a meeting in Minneapolis for wo-”

No problem.” She cut me off. “Just whenever you have time, okay? But like, ASAP.”

“Got it.”

Great!” She said. “Okay, so, any other questions you have for me right now, babe? So glad we’re getting this figured out. Don’t you feel so much better?”

Actually I’m more stressed out than I was before. What happened to Judy? I liked her. She didn’t call me pet names, like babe.

“Sure,” I said. “Totally. WAY better.”

Not.

Our wedding is in less than two weeks. I think it will be a surprise even to me how it turns out. Wish us luck!

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