On Patience.

April 11, 2019 in Lifestyle - 18 Comments

On Patience.

April 11, 2019 in Lifestyle - 18 Comments

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it does not argue about kitchen cabinet organization, or how to load the dishwasher “correctly”. It is not proud, it does not grumble about cleaning hair out of the shower drain or throwing out a full carton of expired Almond milk because someone declared that they were going to “start making smoothies for breakfast” and then forgot about it. 

Love is patient. It’s about being patient. The Bible doesn’t really dig into that, it just assumes that you will know how to be patient with someone you love, and you won’t get all pissy just because they forgot to clean the lint trap out of the dryer. 

The lint trap is a hot button issue in our house. Really, the dryer in general is pretty controversial. I won’t get into the politics of “when you should clean out the lint trap” (EVERY. TIME.) or “how many towels you should cram in there before you’re going to break the dryer”, because I know that not everyone agrees with me, and because I’VE never broken a dryer, so I wouldn’t know the answer to that. 

Someone would tell you that it’s okay to stuff twenty towels in there because “they have to get clean”and because “I don’t want to do six loads of towels”.

But, again, we’re not going to get into that. 

Today we’re going to get into something that everyonecould probably stand to work on in their personal relationships: 

Making sure that when someone tells you “I want to leave at a certain time”that you are, in fact, prepared to leave at that certain time. Up and at ‘em. Not twenty minutes later. Not forty minutes later. THAT CERTAIN TIME.   

And also, patience. We could all stand to work a little bit on our patience. Myself included. 

I don’t always like to get into the “heavy” stuff here, the “hard” stuff. You guys aren’t here for a “woe is me” saga – but today, just for today, just for this post, let’s talk about something a little more personal.  

You guys. I didn’t cook the potatoes long enough. 

No, that’s not a euphemism. I sliced up some potatoes (or I guess, technically I “cubed” them – does that matter? I don’t know.) popped them in a skillet, and… well, I didn’t cook them long enough. 

But I didn’t know I didn’t cook them long enough. You see, I don’t cook all that often (clearly), so I’m still learning, and I read the directions on the recipe and they said “cook for eight minutes over Medium heat” – so I did that. I followed the directions. (It also said “or until golden”, but these were yellow potatoes so it’s kind of hard to tell when they’re “golden” versus when they’re just… you know, darker yellow, because they’re coated with olive oil.) So I didthat – I followed the directions, eight minutes. And then I took them out and set them aside and –

And they tasted like eating a raw potato. Like if I had just cubed up a potato, never ever put it into a skillet – and just took a bite out of it, as if it was an apple or a pear.  

I know what you’re thinking – this is SO not that big of a deal. So you undercooked some potatoes. WOW. What a catastrophe. The world is ending. Are you okay?

I cried. Real tears. Because my potatoes sucked and they were supposed to play a huge role in our dinner that night (we were making this ‘potato and steak’ skillet thing) and HOW HARD IS IT TO COOK POTATOES? I am thirty years old – how have I not acquired such a life skill yet? I can manage territory sales for part of a fortune 500 company, but I can’t cook a couple of potatoes? 

“It’s okay.”Kyle said, because he’s nice. Of coursehe was nice to me about it. What’s he supposed to say – ‘what the hell? These potatoes suck’? I was already an adult woman crying over a skillet. How much worse could it get?  

In hindsight, of course, I think we can all see that this wasn’t really about the potatoes. (It was a little bit about the potatoes.) While I won’t get into the nitty gritty details – it’s safe to say that I’m stressed. I’ve been snapping at people all week, including Kyle – and God love him, he’s had enough grace to stay calm and not pick a fight with me over something completely stupid like the dryer.

In times of overwhelm, it’s important not only to have patience with yourself, but to be patient within that moment. Have enough grace to take it day by day, moment by moment, and stop worrying about “that thing coming up”. Be the kind of woman who shows up for her life, who understands that she was made for more, and who is proud to be herself. Enjoy your life – laugh about the potatoes, don’t cry over the skillet.





18 Comments

  • Rhey | Personal Growth Blogger April 12, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    first time reader, but i must say if you really don’t plan on writing blog posts that are like this…. where they are truly honest and insightful and relatable… i would reconsider. your writing is beautiful in the way that your voice is so clear. i’m not really sure how else to describe it but otherwise i wish you all the best and hope you continue to develop your emotional intelligence. props to your partner for not saying the worst thoughts that come to your mind in your times of stress.

  • Dipti Shah May 12, 2019 at 11:18 am

    Can relate to the internal overwhelming emotions and the need to take it on a moment to moment basis. Guess everyone has suffered a raw potato or raw whatever tragedy !

  • susieshy45 June 11, 2019 at 12:14 pm

    You should be a writer, I mean, full time. Great post and just a tip- put the potatoes in a microwave safe bowl with level water, microwave for 10-12 minutes ( depending on the potatoes- this is a trial and error), potatoes ready for all seasonings or whatever else the recipe calls for- transfer to skillet or other cooking utensil and use.
    Susie

    • jennsfashion June 11, 2019 at 5:11 pm

      Ah… now I know! Thanks 🙂

  • LadyPamelaRose September 30, 2019 at 7:44 pm

    You’re so right about picking your battles when it comes to learning patience. So many times, we explode with anger when a few minutes of patience would be more graceful…and more helpful. I have a quick temper, so I’m especially mindful of when I let my anger show. Is it really going to be helpful? Or am I just stirring the pot? Is there something deeper going on that I need to address?

    Patience can help answer those questions, so remember to take a breath and count to ten before letting it all out. It really can make a positive difference!

  • Stephanie October 1, 2019 at 2:53 am

    Patience can be challenging. It’s always been especially challenging for me – in every form of the word. My mom has always teased me about it, and now my husband gets to as well. However, I know it’s also something I need to practice, because it’s incredibly necessary in life. I’m glad that you were able to glean some insight from your “potato experience” and that your husband is patient and gracious!

  • kileen October 1, 2019 at 7:16 am

    Patience is key!!! Love the potato story and glad you have a loving and understanding husband!

    Kileen
    cute & little

  • Jennifer Prince October 1, 2019 at 12:55 pm

    Ah! We have hot button issues in our house, too. It can be hard, but I’m glad you learned and offered insight to others. Lovely writing!

  • Ashley Rollins October 1, 2019 at 5:28 pm

    I agree – I always tell everyone that you need to have grace with yourself in times like these even though it’s hard

  • Candace Hampton October 2, 2019 at 12:55 am

    I had a similar experience in the kitchen, but with pasta and I was so disappointed. I cried too, and it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but the truth is that when stuff go wrong in the kitchen sometimes is because we are carrying too much weight. Patience is a virtue! Wonderful post, thanks for sharing your experience.

  • Azanique Rawl October 3, 2019 at 2:33 am

    Patience has always been a struggle for me. I don’t cook often but my least favorite part is waiting for a 50 minute meal to cook. At some point, I’ll just give up and order take-out because of impatience. This is just a great post to reflect 🙂

    -xo, Azanique | https://www.lotsofsass.com

  • Erin October 4, 2019 at 2:59 am

    My husband had endless amounts of patience for me, of which I am thankful!

  • Megan Elliott (@LushtoBlush) October 5, 2019 at 12:02 am

    Such a beautiful reminder to not only have patience with other but with OURSELVES!

  • Lily (@_beautywithlily) October 6, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    Patience is SO important…and something that I need to be more of for sure. Loved this!

  • Yukti October 7, 2019 at 1:47 pm

    Patience is key to solve any problems. Though it is difficult at many times to be patient but yes true love is being patient. I loved your story.

  • Deborah October 7, 2019 at 3:11 pm

    I think we’ve all had those weeks where we broke down over something seemingly small but it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Thank you for writing such a beautiful piece! It’s a great reminder to not only be patient with others but also ourselves!

  • blogthirtyminusone October 7, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    Patience is a must and much easier than done. I tend to get a bit snappy myself, especially under stress. The good thing is being able to identify the cause and work to fix it. 🙂

    Xx, Nailil
    thirtyminusone.com

  • Erin October 7, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    Be the kind of woman who shows up for her life, who understands that she was made for more, and who is proud to be herself.

    I absolutely love this quote and sent it to a friend when I read it.

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