The Wedding Coordinator

We have a new wedding coordinator, apparently. This one’s name is Margo and she likes to call me “Babe”.



“We’ve got to get your dinner figured out, babe.”



At first I thought she’d mumbled and I’d misheard her over the phone. I was sitting at the gate of a crowded Minneapolis airport and assumed she must have said “Kay.” Like, “We’ve got to get your dinner figured out, kay?”



But then she said it again and I realized she was one of those women. The girl-friend-y kind. The “sweetie”, “honey”, “babe” kind.



“What happened to Judy?” I asked her. Judy was the third wedding coordinator, the one who replaced Kristen, who replaced Amanda, and now, I guess we have Margo who must have replaced Judy.



Pretty soon I’ll have worked with more wedding coordinators than Meghan Markle.

Wedding update: The one about the dress.

The day that I bought my wedding dress was not the magical, special, fairytale day that all of the other blogger-brides seem to write about. I’m not sure where they went to buy their dresses, or why I’ve always imagined little birds fluttering around to lace up their corsets, or how it always seems that every bride develops this psychic-intuitive ability that enables her to “just know” when she’s found the right dress.



If you’ve ever read a blogger-bride’s post about the magical day when she found her wedding dress – they all seem to have one thing in common…. once she put that dress on – “it was all over. She just KNEW.”



She just knew. As if a little voice whispered in her ear: “This is the dress. Yay!”



I didn’t get a little voice. I got a loud voice in my bridal consultant who kept saying things like, “You look GORGEOUS, but do you want to try this one on again? Make sure you REALLY KNOW – you’ve got to REALLY FEEL IT. This is a BIG DECISION.”



I get it. I do. A lot of girls seem to have a spiritual connection to their wedding dress – they have an emotional reaction, they cry at bridal appointments, they somehow manage to “just know” when they’ve put on the right dress, the RIGHT dress –



And yet – here I was, standing there as a bride-to-be, in a wedding dress, not doing any of that. I wasn’t crying. There was no magical “this is the dress” moment. I wasn’t being emotional – not that I’m super emotional anyway, but I wasn’t able to channel any of that psychic energy everyone else seems to get when they’re trying on wedding dresses.



“Do you want to try on another dress?” The bridal consultant asked me. She assumed I wasn’t having some sort of emotional reaction because I didn’t like the dress.



The dress was fine. I mean, I guess that’s not the kind of reaction you want when it comes to your wedding gown- “it’s fine” – but… I don’t know, what did she want me to say? “It’s great! Fantastic! I feel like a princess! Actually – you know who I feel like? I feel like Taylor Swift in the music video for ‘Love Story’ and THAT’S why I like it!”

The bachelorette party | chicago, IL

“I don’t want a penis hat.” I texted Klaudia. <— Something I never thought I’d have to say, but these are the kinds of things you need to specify when your friends are planning your bachelorette party.



I don’t know if our mothers and grandmothers went out the night before their weddings wearing penis necklaces and sipped out of penis shaped straws, but – if you’ve been to a bachelorette party recently – you know that penis things are all the rage.



“What about a sash?” She texted back. “Will you wear a Bride-To-Be sash?”



Sashes, veils, anything “cutesy bride” – I’m all about it. So I responded with, “Sure!”



I didn’t have much of a hand when it came to the planning part of my bachelorette party – my friends organized everything, and I was completely fine with that. The only input I offered was, “No penis necklaces” and “don’t make me do anything weird”.

My favorite jackets to wear this fall

I am here to return a jacket, I told myself. This is not a shopping trip, this a return-a-jacket trip.



Do you ever have to give yourself pep talks before you walk into *that one* store. For me, that store is Abercrombie & Fitch.



There will be no shopping, I told myself. No browsing. No “looking around for fun”. Looking around is NOT fun when you cannot buy anything – and YOU cannot BUY ANYTHING.



Except maybe a turtleneck sweater, because I’ve been looking for one of those. But anything else – NO.



“Hi there!” The sales girl greeted me as I walked into the store. I had my jacket-to-return in hand. “Something I can help you find?” She asked.



“Nope!” I said, gesturing to the bag in my hand. “Just have a return.” And that’s it. Just a return. No new clothes today, nope, I’m not even going to LOOK at that brown suede jacket that I can see out of the corner of my eye.

Wedding Dress Shopping

I knew that it was time to start wedding dress shopping when people would ask “have you found a dress yet?”, and then seem very concerned for me when I said no.



“Well, you better get on that!” They would tell me.. They. Not just my mom, or my friends – my aunt, my dentist, the lady who does my hair – all of them made me feel like if I didn’t “get a move on it”, I was going to end up buying my dress from the prom section at Macy’s.



So, I got a move on it. I made an appointment at a bridal salon and dragged along two of my friends to watch me parade around in dresses for two hours while they cheered me on by saying things like, “I love that one!” and “You look so skinny!”



It was wonderful. For me, anyway. Probably less so for the girl who worked there as a “bridal consultant” and was assigned to help me get in and out of the dresses.



“I’m really sorry if I flash you,” I said to her, more than once. And then, both times, I flashed her. So I guess it was her lucky day.

On Patience.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it does not argue about kitchen cabinet organization, or how to load the dishwasher “correctly”. It is not proud, it does not grumble about cleaning hair out of the shower drain or throwing out a full carton of expired Almond milk because someone declared that they were going to “start making smoothies for breakfast” and then forgot about it. 



Love is patient. It’s about being patient. The Bible doesn’t really dig into that, it just assumes that you will know how to be patient with someone you love, and you won’t get all pissy just because they forgot to clean the lint trap out of the dryer. 



The lint trap is a hot button issue in our house. Really, the dryer in general is pretty controversial. I won’t get into the politics of “when you should clean out the lint trap” (EVERY. TIME.) or “how many towels you should cram in there before you’re going to break the dryer”, because I know that not everyone agrees with me, and because I’VE never broken a dryer, so I wouldn’t know the answer to that. 

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