Am I Too Old To Shop Here?

I’m getting old. Maybe not “bird sweatshirts and pants with elastic waistbands” old – but at least the kind of old where I find myself saying things like, “Is this what the kids are wearing now?”

‘The kids’. I don’t know any adults wearing gingham print crop tops and “distressed high rise bicycle shorts”, so it must be high school kids – otherwise, who is buying “ruched velvet tube bodysuits”?

These are questions that I ask myself every time I step into Forever 21. Also, why am I still going into stores like Forever 21? I am thirty years old. My days of wearing denim mini-skirts and pleather leggings should be over.

The Wedding Registry.

Registering for a wedding is weird. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful. But also weird. It feels a bit like making out a Christmas list when you’re a kid. You can’t help but think, “We’re really asking someone to buy us an automatic vegetable peeler? Really…?” Also, “Do we need an automatic vegetable peeler…?” Well of course we do. How else are we going to make zucchini pasta? We don’t usually eat zucchini pasta – actually, I don’t think we’ve ever eaten zucchini pasta (because we’ve never had a vegetable peeler)- but the married version of us seems to lead a much more glamorous and put-together lifestyle. One that involves bowls and plates that match, and pots and pans that have lids that fit. And healthy pasta made from vegetables. “Where are we going to put all of this stuff?” Kyle asked. That’s the thing about registering for a wedding when you’re…

How To Wear White Denim.

I live in fear of wearing white jeans. Not because anything has ever happened to me while wearing them, but because every time I’ve tried them on I spend at least ten to fifteen minutes in a dressing room trying to convince myself that they aren’t “that bad”. They aren’t “that see-through” or “that tight” and they don’t make my thighs look “that big”. I don’t like to spend money on things that aren’t “that bad”. Especially not something that could give me mom-butt. “ So I’ve never bought white jeans. I’ve wanted to. You can’t walk past a J. Crew window in the months of May, June and July without seeing a mannequin wearing some sort of white denim. And it looks so chic.“It’s a summer staple!” — says every fashion blog, magazine, and “Summer Outfits!” Pinterest board. Also that rule about how “you can’t wear white after Labor Day”. I’ve…

On Patience.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it does not argue about kitchen cabinet organization, or how to load the dishwasher “correctly”. It is not proud, it does not grumble about cleaning hair out of the shower drain or throwing out a full carton of expired Almond milk because someone declared that they were going to “start making smoothies for breakfast” and then forgot about it.  Love is patient. It’s about being patient. The Bible doesn’t really dig into that, it just assumes that you will know how to be patient with someone you love, and you won’t get all pissy just because they forgot to clean the lint trap out of the dryer.  The lint trap is a hot button issue in our house. Really, the dryer in general is pretty controversial. I won’t get into the politics of “when you should clean out the lint trap” (EVERY. TIME.) or…

Confessions of A Shopaholic.

“So after we get married, whose bank are we going to use?” Whose bank are we going to use? Not only do Kyle and I have two separate checking accounts, we have two separate banks. For now. Word on the street is that “married people” have this saying- “It’s not MY money, it’s OUR money.” Right. But, technically, it is still my money, right? “Uh…” To say that I hadn’t thought about it would be a lie. I’d thought about it. Of course I’d thought about it. “Mine…” I suggested, “I guess?” Not like it matters. Eventually he’s going to see how much money I spend on make-up and hair products. Where the bank statement comes from doesn’t really matter. “But here’s the thing,” I said – because I have nothing to hide – “Maybe we should still have separate accounts. Like, we can have a joint account – you know, for…

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